I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
