The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
