his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
