I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
