You smell like stripper and shame
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
