I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize