i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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