Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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