i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
