I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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