I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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