how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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