Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
