Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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