You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize