dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
