Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
