6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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