Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
