i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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