Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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