I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
