I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
