He uses pillows to masturbate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
