I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
