Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
