If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
