Christians are straight up FREAKS
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
