bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
