idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
