my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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