So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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