Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize