Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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