Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
