Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
