So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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