I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
