Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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(212): View more from New York

I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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(847): View more from Illinois

At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.

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(251): View more from Alabama

For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.

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(813): View more from Florida

Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS

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(512): View more from Texas

I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...

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