I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Small penises have feelings too.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
