Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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