dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
