I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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