i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize