he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
