You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
