yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
