He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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