I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
