Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
