Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

(401): View more from Rhode Island

at least we're not in new jersey

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(972): View more from Texas

it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles

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(954): View more from Florida

so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral

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(360): View more from Washington

Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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(813): View more from Florida

Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.

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(480): View more from Arizona

burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.

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