bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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