it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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