what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you had me at cake vodka
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize