I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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