I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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