do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize