is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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